Welcome to my life!

Damien loves his Binkie. I don’t mind his little 3 1/2-month-old obsession either, because it helps him go to sleep. We get fantastic sleep at night, and by "we" I mean him. I, on the other hand, have developed a weird form of post-baby insomnia, a habit I am desperately trying to break in order to be the least bit coherent the next day. But I digress...
You couldn’t pay this kid to go without the infantile suckling on his beloved Binkie. And there is only one. He’ll suck on a different Binkie, only to spit it out immediately and complain with a loud pitched wail. This is especially true when Mommy has accidently misplaced the location of Binkie and has attempted to give Damien a replacement until she finds Beloved. No, this is never good enough. He will cry out in agony from his current placement until I find Binkie, then all is well in the kingdom. He knows when Mommy has found Binkie because, when on his tummy, he turns his head a little bit and opens his mouth for proper Binkie insertion.
"Insert Binkie here, please."

Now this is all well and fine until Binkie falls out of his mouth while he’s on the road to Slumber Land. If he’s in a good mood then I will hear a whine coming from inside his crib, and I know what it means.
"BAAAAAaaaaaah!" (Mommyyyyyyyy!)
"AAAAaaaaggg!" (Binkie fell ooooooouuuuuut!)
"Aaaahhhhg!" (Do somethiiiiiiiing!)

Yes, this is his form of communication to me. He doesn’t actually "cry" when this has happened, but he knows if I’m within hearing distance (and somehow he makes it so I am regardless of where I may be in the apartment) I will come. And when I get to his crib, he instantly blows baby raspberries because he knows why I’m there.
*Pthhhhhhbt*

BUT it is in the middle of the night, when both of our patience is tested. Usually once he goes to sleep, Binkie falls out of his mouth, and he doesn’t care. It’s usually after his early morning feeding (anywhere between 3 and 5 am) that he will suck on Binkie after I’ve put him back in his crib that he wants me to get up and put it back in. This process can happen a few times, with wishing there was some way I could affix it to him permanently. Well, at least until he falls asleep! It is at these times that I diligently and ever-so patiently get up and go to him in the dark, and search for Binkie that has fallen out of his mouth and fallen into Narnia.

THIS task is not always the easiest. If I didn’t know better, I would think that he hides it on purpose just to get a laugh when I sleepily feel around the area of the crib in order to find his suckling delight. I must look like a fun sight, and once again, yet in the dark, he blows raspberries.
*Pthhhhhhbt*

This early morning was no different. I do the same thing we always do and I sweep my hand to find Binkie... only this time it’s not to be found. I do another sweep thinking that I missed it the first time, and after four sweeps, I know that it’s not me anymore. Damien is waiting for me to get my act together, but his patience wears thin."Aggghoo." (Ok Mom, it was funny at first, but now I actually want it back.)
At this point I figure it’s lodged underneath him (not an uncommon occurrence either) and I gently move said baby in a drowsy attempt. Still no Binkie. I’m perplexed, and Damien no longer finds this game very fun and so begins to whimper at me. Five minutes later and I still have not recovered the missing Binkie. Finally, I resort to turning on a soft light but I still have not found it. As a last resort I move his blanket to the side and *viola* Binkie is there in between his legs.

Wait, what? Why... How... You know what? I don’t care. It’s too exhausting to try to figure out how Binkie managed to fall out of Damien’s mouth and in the ten seconds it took me to get out of bed and go to his crib it got down there. Even as I write this, I still don’t know. This is the strangest case of Binkie misplacement, but it usually takes a small search party to recover it if I’ve taken more than three seconds to restore the situation to its original factory settings.

Alas, I would not be the least bit surprised if my child decided to try his hand at magic tricks when he gets older. If anything, it may be that he still gets entertainment from the confused look on his mother’s face.

My child sleeps wonderfully throught the night. I don't have the classic "walking zombie" personality that most new mothers have due to a severe shortage of sleep. I was able to breastfeed for a solid month and now, Damien is on soy formula, which I know is part of the reason he sleeps so well. Lately it has been the daytime hours that are more frustrating . Damien has had this tendency the last month to fight off his naps and has a meltdown for a couple minutes before he stops squirming so much and begins to drift off to sleep. No matter what we try to do (give me his binkie, change positions, put him in his swing, etc.) to help him relax he fights it. We've figured out that the only thing we can do is let him scream for the few minutes then offer him the binkie. He loves his binkie when he starts falling asleep and it's so precious to see that little mouth suck away in comfort while his eyelids get ever so heavy by the second.

Such is the case in the late evening too. He starts getting tired after we've "played" with him a bit and starts the meltdown all over again. It's this last meltdown that is usually horrific to the non-mother ear, because this child can cray like nobody's business. And not just in that classic baby cry. I mean a cry that makes you think he hasn't been feed in days and makes your heart want to jump out of your chest and slither away to die. When he finally takes his binkie, he'll accidently let it fall out of his mouth a few dozens times before he truly falls asleep for good. That is the moment that Rick and I let out a sigh of relief and are able to enjoy the company of each other on the couch laughing at the antics of Conan O'Brien.

Last night was no different. Ok, I lied. It was different! The road to slumberland was the same, but suprisingly he fell asleep around 9pm, when his usually bedtime is around 11pm. I suspect that the lack of a dinner time nap and an evening stroll to the mailbox made for a very tired baby, who decided that his crib wasn't so bad to sleep in after all and while he wasn't sucking on it, knowing binkie was still in his little hand was comfort enough. Rick and I went to bed around 1am and I wondered how it is that I managed to be one of the "lucky" moms who still finds time to get a good nights sleep, shower everyday, and still manages to interact with her baby at every waking moment (his, that is.) (Oh yeah, and that shower part is only if I'm not feeling lazy!)

3:30am. I awaken to the sound of my whimpering child in his crib. My eyes are dry, my contacts have no moisture, and my brain is functioning at the pace of a snail on a cross-country road trip. But patiently and kindly I get up to find my child has rolled himself over onto his back (something he has been mastering more and more these past couple of weeks) and is looking at me as if to say, "Hi Mommy....BOTTLE!!!!!!!!"   So I bring him to the bed and attempt to feed him. I say attempt because while he's doing everything he needs to do to obtain nourishment, his mother is dozing off repeatedly. I could have been the new actress in the Diet Pepsi Max commercial! At one point the bottle actually slipped out of my hand, and I quickly grabbed it and put it back into Damien's mouth before he even knew what had happened. Half an hour later, I was still blinking erratically to keep my contacts from popping out (those of you with contacts know what I mean) and proceeded to burp him and change his diaper, which he wanted nothing of. He cried through the entire process, which is very much unlike his normal attitude and once we were finished, both of us collapsed onto the bed. (It was more like I placed him on one side and I collapsed on the other!)

7am. I'm still yawning while making my child another bottle. I'm more awake at this time because I've had a few more hours of sleep and Rick his getting ready to go to his new job. He brings Damien to me on our (my) recliner in the living and I feed him. It's at that time that I wonder if I should have made two more ounces for him during that particular feeding because he gets hungier during the day. Usually he wakes up for his first morning feeding at about 7am and I give him 4oz, then we go back to sleep until around 10am which I now give him 6oz until his last night time feeding. I keep thinking that he'll be fine, not remember exactly how I felt at the sudden 3:30am feeding. So instead of making two more ounces right then, I stupidly decided to go back to bed with my little boy, knowing I was more tired than he was. I changed his diaper and we smiled at each other for a few minutes while lying next to each other on the bed. I fall asleep before he does but he cries out for his binkie about 7 or 8 times during the hour and a half before I realize my mistake. So I make 2oz and feed him, my eyes fluttering in a poor attempt to stay open. He becomes cranky after being woken up only an hour or so from his next feeding and has a full out meltdown. I move his swing to end of our bed and place my pillowat the foot of the bed. He sways back and forth peacefully for about five minutes while during that time I've already crashed onto the bed in exhustion. Every five minutes he wakes up to find that his binkie has fallen out of his mouth and cries at me to put it back in. I dutifully sit up and reach over to the swing then crash into a heap only to be awoken five minutes later.

11am. Damien is crying out again but this time he does cannot be consolled by binkie. I regret not waking him up to feed him before I went to bed the night before, fearing that this system we established weeks ago has been ruined. I make 6oz, go through the process again and put him in his crib. I have to go to the bathroom so bad I feel like I'm going to burst, and I'm absolutly starving. When I was awoken before this feeding, I traded everything else that was going on in my body for just a few more minutes of precious slumber. Finally I am able to nourish myself with the sandwich I had been thinking about since 7am. I'm still exhausted but I needed to eat something with substance before I run into the kitchen and pour the bag of Rick's Doritos over my head and cackle crazily!

Sweet victory was mine when I tasted that first bite of bread, mayo, turkey, and cheese. No more to adhear to the commonly practiced saying in motherhood, "Don't wake a sleeping infant!"

You know what I say? Wake him! Please somebody wake him otherwise he's going to be cranky all morning!  Now Damien and Willow are enjoying a nap next to each other and I can't help but wonder if I traded in my chance to snooze for a sandwich.

On a side note I had my hair cut into a really cute style, and I'm absolutly loving it!

Yesterday (Thursday), Rick was finally offered a job! He'll be working at Manufacterers Direct Warrenty, Inc. as a telephone sales associate taking phone calls from new car owners wanting to purchase a warrenty for their vehicle. The job is Monday through Friday from 8am to 5pm which will allow us to  He was offered the position immediatly after interviewing for the position yesterday and went in today to sign the paperwork; he'll be starting this Monday with his training. Both of us are really excited that he found a job and he's eager to start working again!

He has been trying really hard to find work and he deserved to finally something he can be content and happy with! It's like a weight has been lifted off of our shoulders, knowing that a steady paycheck will be coming in again and we won't have to stress about to having enough money every month to pay for the basic neccessities. It will take us about another month or so to pay off the late fee's that we have accrued but there is light at the end of the tunnel! Even though we have been through a pretty difficult time fiancially, we're in fantastic standings with our landlord and she's so understanding of our situation! She loves seeing Damien we we take walks around the complex and we planning on staying here (but upgrading to a two-bedroom when finances allow) as long as we live in Redding.

Where has the time gone? It seems like we just brought home our little baby boy and then suddenly here he is at two months cooing at us and lifting his head up from his tummy. Two months is nothing compared to what is in store throughout his life, but every day I see him getting smarter and understanding the world around him more and more! I told Rick tonight that with as many photos as I have taken already, imagine how many I'll have by the time he's a year old. I don't feel so bad though, because I love looking at them over and over again and I have heard mother recount the days of their baby's "newborn" days and wish they had taken more photos. They somehow always look so sad when they on the first year or even years and wonder why they talked themselves into putting the camera down. My best friend, Rachael, is the same way I am about taking photos and now that her daughter is only a month away from being two years old, and her photos (that I even know of) are in the thousands! She hasn't seemed to take as many, as the "baby milestones" seem to become more spaced out once the get a little older.

I've noticed that during the first year of a baby's life, every month seems to grant something brand new for parents to smile and brag about! Obviously the first month is a big deal but more emotionally than physically when you actually HAVE your baby, rather than the idea of a baby being around. A woman is still recovering from the birthing process, as is her baby, so while she's focusing on the baby she's also dealing with many postpartum issues (many of which I will not go into detail about!). After that first initial month, some semblance of a pattern shows itself and you start to get to know your little one as his personality begins to emerge ever so slightly. Then suddenly baby had his first smiles, coos, and laughs, along with holding his head up from the belly, beginning to crawl, and sitting up. As the first half of his first year is over, he has begun to eat solid foods and is no longer solely dependant on the bottle or the breast. Then he begins to stand up with the help of something to hold on to, and once his first year comes to a close he may have already taken his first step. This is a huge step (pardon the pun!) for baby but especially for mom/dad!

As much as I enjoy the sweet innocent cries and the toothless grins, I am very excited about these milestones, especially when it comes time to introduce solids. The side effects of this is NOT something I look forward to (like stinkier diapers and an awful mess to clean up after) but the way I see it is that it is something that comes with the territory. He can't stay this little forever and it's what must be done when it comes to being a mom or a dad! I'd rather look at the bright side of things, like how much he'll make us laugh when he tries to feed himself but more gets on his face than in his mouth or the look on his face when he first eats something sour like a lemon! Such pleasures in parenting are something I look forward too and just change the diaper as fast as possible in hope to avoid gagging!

Sounds intense, right? Well it is. And it's what had to be done to our barely year old computer when it decided (with no warning I might add) that it no longer wanted to allow us access to our operating system. All technical mumbo-jumbo aside, the only way to use our computer ever again was to be walked through the process of restoring it to it's original factory setting. So either be without a computer or restore it so it resmebles what it first looked like when it was taken out of the box. This was no suprise to me, as this is a common problem with Windows computers that are younger than 3 - 5 years old. Some don't do this, but most do. The technical support can't ever know what truly caused the problem, as it can be a variety of issues, but the do know how to fix it. And this was it.

Normally I would have sighed and patiently have gone through the system recovery process, especially after witnessing first hand the process when my mom's computer did exactly the same things only a few short years ago. Unfortunatly for me, I was in the process of backing all my photos and other files onto disks and had this problem occured only a day later, I would have been able to save all of my files. But alas, 90% of everything I had on the computer was unable to be accessed. All the photos and videos of Damien, my pregnancy, Rick and I, various holidays that go back a few years were going to be erased completely. I had an old Mac computer that I took the photos off and put onto the new computer to help it run quicker, but now I regret doing so. The only solution was to go to a certified computer place and perform what is called a data transfer, in which the computer technition is able to hook something up to the hard drive and remove all the content manually...it's quite complicated to someone who has no idea how to do it! Then said person saves all the data onto a disk and gives it to you. That's pretty much what backing up files means, and I had already started doing it only the easy non-computer-tech way!

The catch? It costs about $60 - $70 to do this, and we just don't have that kind of money right. We still needed the computer to print out resumes for job searching and to look online for new job postings that one cannot find just by calling or driving around. Needless to say, I was upset that I would lose all of my photos and documents but bit my lip and proceeded with the system recovery. Thank goodness for Myspace and Flickr, where I've posted quite a bit of the most important photos and can still have access to. It's still simply aggravating that this is a normal occurance for a computer so young and it makes me wonder why Bill Gates can't just put his pride aside and learn a thing or two from Steve Jobs!

For Rick and myself, yesterday was an ordinary day. If you were to ask Damien, though, he would probably tell you that it was the worst day of his little life, aside from only two short months ago when he had to leave the comfort and warmth of the womb! He would tell you this because yesterday he had to be subjected to his first round of immunizations at his pediatrician's office. Rick fed Damien only an hour before his appointment in order to keep him happy, and he was first seen by a nurse who took his weight and measurement. We were delighted that he is right on track with his growth now at 10 lbs, 3 oz, and has grown to 22 inches! After about fifteen minutes with the nurse, the three of us were taken to a room to wait for his regular checkup by the doctor. Dr. Shoja (show-j-uh) came in to talk with us about any concerns we might have had or questions we needed answering. Since I couldn't have asked for a happier, more content baby, the doctor brought in an infant specialist to confirm a few small things, such as the movement of his joints and legs and how the soft spots on his head were growing. A nurse came in a little later to briefly go over the types of immunizations he would be receiving.
Unfortunately, unlike the checkup Damien was taken to only weeks after his birth, we were at this appointment for a couple of hours between waiting to go in the room, seeing the nurse first, going through two doctors, the second nurse going over things with us, then actually performing the immunizations. All in all, we were at the office for almost two hours, and that's even a standard appointment when Damien is in perfect health. I can only imagine what it would be like for someone who's baby had some health problems as I'm sure they would be there for half the day!
Although we had planned on being there for a little while as Mercy Family Health Center caters not only to pediatrics, but to pregnancy and the health of seniors as well. The bad part about not having much of a choice of where we can take Damien (since he's covered under Medi-Cal) is that the waiting times can interfere with the feeding and napping schedule of an infant. At his age, Damien is awake and alert at times, but can become overstimulated quickly and needs constant naps. With every health professional that came into our room, each had to inspect him awake and alert. By the time the immunizations were ready to be given, Damien was already falling asleep in my arms and would fuss and cry every time he was move or awoken.
Then the actual shots were given! I held him in my arms, talking to him and somehow hoping to prepare him for the painful experience he was about to undergo. It is temporary pain, yes, and I realize that he won't remember it, but it can break a new mother's heart seeing her child extremely unhappy and wailing like a banshee knowing that she is unable to make it any better in that moment and he must simply "get through it." He received two shots in one thigh, one in the other, and luckily the last was a sticky sweet-tasting syrup for him to swallow that immediately distracted him from the shots he had been given only moments before. Rick and I had been forewarned that Damien might run a slight temperature from the shots but so far the only side effect was what seemed like a bit of soreness in his legs last night, which needed only the comforting embrace of his mother! :-)

In other family news, my OB has put me on once daily Prozac to help with the Postpartum Depression I had been feeling. The first month was extremely difficult for me emotionally, and issues with my milk supply had made breastfeeding extremely frustrating. Also having suffered from mild depression post-pregnancy, my doctor thought it be wise to get my PPD treated right away before it become worse. The Prozac took about two weeks to start taking effect, but I have started noticing a slight difference already even though it's possible I may not feel the full effectiveness for another couple of weeks. Damien has started smiling in response to us, so needless to say that is something that can make me smile and laugh no matter how I'm feeling!
Rick has still been looking for work and has been unsuccessful although he's been trying extremely hard. I am confident that with the energy he has been putting towards the job search, he will be able to find something soon!

(Note: Don't forget to continue to check the Flickr Photo website, where I am putting up new family photos a couple of times a week! Even though he's still just about two-months-old, my little boy is growing fast! Visit www.flickr.com/photos/briannasrealm to view all of our past and current photos.)

Since about four and a half weeks Damien has been giving us the biggest and cutest grins we've ever seen! Usually after he's eaten and burped, we'll sit him up and he'll smile so big which makes us just laugh and laugh! He's now six weeks old and we just can't believe how fast his first month has gone by! With at least two appointments every week for the first month we're glad things are starting to calm down so we can enjoy spending time with friends and family!

Rick and I took Damien to his first doctor's appointment today! Our goal for the first two weeks was to get
his weight back up to what it was when he was born, because his jaundice caused a little more weight loss 
than the home nurse and his doctor wanted to see. I commented to Rick yesterday that it seemed as though 
Damien had gained weight since the first week, but couldn't be certain. Sure enough, Damien weighed in at 
8 lbs, 6 oz, which is a little more than an ounce above what he was at birth! I was so glad to hear that we were 
right on track with weight gain and all other health checks. Not that I was truly worried, as I am smart enough 
regarding infants and children to identify when there is an obvious problem. The basic checks done at his 
appointment was body inspection, heart rate, eyes, mouththroat, and visual response. The only real question 
I had for his pediatrician was regarding Damien sleeping on his stomach. 

As first time parents, we were obviously paranoid about SIDS (Sudden Infant Death Syndrome) and while we did 
our research and found that our son was at a low risk (nonsmoking household, not putting blankets around his 
face while sleeping, etc.), we were still worried about the potential risks involved with letting him sleep on his 
stomach and it caused us some very stressful and sleepless nights. Finally, in an act of despair, we let him 
sleep on his tummy, cranked up the heater, and to our amazement the three of us got a solid fours hours of 
sleep! (As a side note, I never thought I'd say that four hours would be a solid night's sleep!)
So when I asked Damien's pediatrician, he eased our fears and reminded us about not having a blanket around 
his face. We couldn't have been happier about not having to worry as much about the many fears and horror 
stories that new parents seem to hear constantly! Damien just hates sleeping on his back to the point that I was 
sleeping with him belly-down on my chest every night, which only allowed us an hour or so of sleep.

Other than the sleep issues, we have been shocked at the amount that our little boy can eat! He seems to be 
hungry every two to three hours exactly to the point that we have had to supplement him with soy formula until 
more of my breast milk comes in. There are times that he may go about four hours in between feedings, and at 
only two weeks old, he'll go through at least an ounce of breast milk then another ounce of formula! If he's hungry, 
then of course we feed him but it still doesn't take away the suprise of his appetite!

It's been almost two weeks since Damien was born and we're still alive! My mom stayed with my grand 
parents only a town away for the first week and came over to our apartment every day before she had to return to work, and once she left it was up to Rick and myself to survive. Somehow, we have managed! 
Rick and I take turns with feedings since the wonderfully nice lady at Mercy's Lactation Department gave 
me a manual breast pump. It takes a little bit of work, but if that work means I get to sleep for at least four 
hours straight without being disturbed it's worth it! My sweet pea has had this tendancy of being more awake 
at night and sleeping solidly in between feedings during the day! A couple of friends of mine who also had their
babies in December have found themselves on the same schedule, so it's been nice to have had others women 
to go through everything with, including pregnancy. As much as Rick and I would like to try to keep Damien awake during the day, we realized that keeping a brand new baby preoccupied enough to not sleep as much during the 
day is no small feat! They eat, sleep, poop (and pee), and occasionally give you the stare down! Then it starts 
all over again! Damien seems to only want to sleep at night if he's with one or both of us, and the past few nights
we've become so exhuasted that we prop ourselves up a little bit on a couple of pillows and lay him belly down 
on top of our chest. He absolutely loves that position and falls right asleep, but try to put him in his crib (even if 
he's as warm and comfy as a baby could be) he fusses and wails until he's rescued!

He's and absolute joy to have and he really is a good baby, it would be nice if he liked to sleep at night though! 
I guess this is only the beginning, but we're taking things one day at a time so as to savor the great moments 
and make light of the not-so great moments! In the mean time, I have found that cleaning and up the apartment
is my simple getaway from all things baby, while listening to my new favorite song "Sweet Pea" by Amos Lee. 
It's such a cute song, and I discovered it (and of course fell in love with it) since I started calling Damien 'sweet 
pea' when he was born.

And for those reading these blogs entries, remember that to view all of the photos we take, just click on the link at 
right labeled "My Photos" which will open Flickr.com in a new window. (Our account name is Storch_Family.)

Damien Jaden Storch entered into this world at 5:02 am on December 18, 2007, in Redding, California. He weighed in at 8 lbs, 5 ounces, and measured 20 inches long!

Sunday night my water broke while sleeping and I had begun having contractions about 15 miuntes apart around
noon on Monday, so we were directed to go to Mercy Medical Center where my doctor was working on call. 
After an exam was performed, it was decided that I should receive Pitocen, an IV solution to help further my 
contractions. Rick stayed with me throughout my labor, my grandmother spent time with us for a few hours in the
evening after volunteering in the hospital's gift shop, and my mom drove up from Sacramento to join us in the early
morning hours. Thanks to the epidural, I wasn't in much pain but was ready to begin pushing at 4 am. My doctor 
came into the delivery room at by 5 am, Damien made his entrance into the world.

Damien scored a '7' and a '9' on the Apgar test but had meconium (the waste he made in the womb) in his lungs 
and stomach, so Rick spent the first hour with him in the NICU in order to make sure his lungs were alright. After
a clean bill of health, my mom and I met the two Storch boys in my post-natal room. After many tests later (all
of which came back perfect), we were discharged early Wednesday evening and have been getting along famously
with our new little guy! My mom has been so fantastic by helping us get some cleaning done around the house that
we were unable to do before our unexpected hospital trip. Both myself and Damien are resting up as much as
possible and we're overjoyed at finally seeing this little person that we've been preparing for for 9 months!